Teen Mom’s Tyler Baltierra Wanted to ‘Die’ After Being Sexually Abused: ‘Unbearable Suffering’

Teen Mom star Tyler Baltierra broke down in tears as he recalled wanting to die over the pain he experienced from his sexual abuse.

Tyler, 31, had a follow-up call with his psychotherapist, Dr. Mike Dow, after he underwent ketamine-assisted psychotherapy during the Wednesday, September 20, episode of Teen Mom: The Next Chapter. During the call, Tyler was instructed to write a letter to his younger self and read it in the trailer he spent his childhood in.

Joined by his wife, Catelynn Baltierra (née Lowell), Tyler went to read the letter that reflected on the sexual abuse he previously experienced when he was just 8 years old. After he said he’s “sorry” for the pain he endured, the MTV personality admitted “there will come a time in your life when that pain is so excruciating that the only remedy for the unbearable suffering you’re feeling is to die.”

Tyler emotionally continued, “I’m here to tell you that you will survive for a reason, and that reason has a name. It’s Cate.”

“You will meet the most purest example of love that you’ve ever felt or witnessed in your life because of her. She will show you how you truly are worthy of love. She’ll prove to you why you weren’t supposed to die that day,” he said through tears. “You will fall madly in love and that love will result in the other reason you survived, and that’s to be a father, to bring four beautiful children into the world, to give those children the father you never had, and by giving them that you will break so many generational traumas.”

Catelynn, 31, embraced Tyler in a hug before he burned the letter and they left the trailer.

Tyler also sat down with his mother, Kim, to discuss the sexual abuse he experienced earlier in the episode. She admitted she originally thought Tyler was “making up a story,” adding that she now feels guilty she didn’t believe him when he first told her about the incident.

“I just wish I could go back in time and just take all that away from you,” Kim said. Tyler then assured Kim that he wasn’t holding a grudge and wanted to move forward.

Tyler first opened up about being sexually assaulted by his older sister Amber’s friend in the 2016 memoir, Conquering Chaos, which he cowrote with Catelynn.

“One day I went over to [the older girl’s house] with my sister and some other people, and for some reason or another, everyone else left but this older girl and me. For the next several hours, while we were alone together in her house, it was sex act after sex act after sex act,” he recalled in the book. “It went on all day. She had us doing everything she could think of, one thing after another. There’d be a break and then it would start up again. And when it was finally over, I didn’t know what the hell had happened.”

If you or anyone you know has been sexually abused, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). A trained staff member will provide confidential, judgment-free support as well as local resources to assist in healing, recovering and more.