Granger Smith and Amber on How They’re Finding Light in ‘Darkest’ Time: ‘Searching for Meaning’ After River’s Death

They have endured an unimaginable loss. Granger Smith and his wife, Amber, revealed how they are coping with their three-year-old son River’s death in a vulnerable new YouTube video posted on June 19. While taking to Instagram first, the country singer addressed how he’s been quiet on social media, but decided to share how they are “finding light” in their “darkest time.”

“I still have a full understanding of the responsibility placed upon me as a public figure,” the 39-year-old wrote in his candid Instagram post. “I can choose to snuff that influence, or instead use my platform (in relevancy big or small) towards what I believe is right.” Granger mentioned how the “finality” and “morality” that death brings can make life feel fragile and scary. He also noted how it can “awaken us” so we never take a moment with loved ones for granted.

In the post, Granger revealed that his family has never felt more united. They’ve shed tears, smiled and turned to their faith in the wake of this devastating experience.

“I have realized that I will not slave over a search for answers, but instead for meaning,” he added. “I will focus and then cultivate the light from a dark place, the good from the bad, God’s will from my own plans. I can rest assured knowing that River’s assignment on earth was always intended for 1116 days and not only did he live it to the fullest, but he lived it loved by so many, including a mother, father, sister and brother who held nothing back and have no regrets on how much he felt that love.”

The songwriter explained how they wanted fans to “hear” it from them instead of just reading it, so they shared their thoughts in a 27-minute video, which also includes some of their favorite memories with River. While addressing fans, Amber said they’ve been spending time with family in recent weeks.

“We just wanted to come on here and talk to you guys and let you know that we’re seeing all of your comments and we’re getting all of your letters and we’re receiving the outpouring of love that you guys have given us these past couple of weeks and we just wanted to say thank you,” Amber said, while holding back tears. “It means a lot,” Granger added. The couple thanked all of the fans, celebrities and people showing support, as well as the hospital staff that tried to save River’s life.

Granger said they are going to search for every bit of good they can find in this situation, which is “the worst” they’ve ever been through and that’s his commitment to River’s legacy. Next week, he’ll be going back on tour with the entire family, but he won’t be doing meet and greets.

The performer broke the devastating news about his son, River, in a message shared via social media on June 6, and it was later revealed that the toddler’s cause of death was an accidental drowning at the family’s home located in Georgetown, Texas. We’re keeping them in our thoughts.