Jennifer Lopez has been parading herself all over the Hamptons for her birthday and wedding anniversary, trying to show estranged husband Ben Affleck what he’s missing, but a source exclusively tells In Touch he’s just rolling his eyes and counting his blessings that he’s finally free of her. 

“Of course Ben is well aware that J. Lo’s been staging photo ops all around the Hamptons to try and look like she hasn’t got a care in the world,” the source says. “But he knows otherwise, because when they talk she shows a much different side, so all this phoniness is just making him relieved he doesn’t have to live in her made-up world anymore.” 

The pair’s history started 20 years ago. Bennifer started dating in 2002 and they were engaged just months later. They even had a wedding date set for 2003, but ultimately decided to call off their wedding due to “excessive media attention,” they said in a joint statement at the time. They officially broke up just months later in January 2004. It wasn’t until 2021 that they reconciled, which led to them finally marrying in July 2022.

In May, In Touch was the first to report that Ben and J. Lo were “headed for a divorce” after only two years of marriage.

Jennifer, 55, who is co-chair of the Met Gala, even attended the event without Ben, 51, in May. J. Lo then jetted to Italy for a luxurious vacation alone the following month, the same time Ben was spotted sans wedding ring while out with their daughter, Violet. The two spent their anniversary on July 16 separate, too, with Jen in the Hamptons and Ben back in Los Angeles.

Later the same month, The Town actor’s “absence was definitely noticed” at J. Lo’s 55th birthday bash Hamptons, on July 21. The Wedding Planner actress shared a selfie of her stunning white one-piece swimsuit the day of her Bridgerton-themed party. She also highlighted the extravagant festivities in an Instagram video, complete with a horse-drawn carriage, floor-length ball gown and lace, elbow-high gloves as if to taunt her truant hubby, Ben.

The source continues: “If she really wanted to impress him and win him back, she’d tone it way down and take some time out of the spotlight, but of course she’s doing the opposite, and he finds it totally cringey and contrived.” 

“It’s pretty sad, because she’s clearly desperate to prove something and it’s only proving to Ben that he made the right choice in pulling the plug.” 

While J. Lo has been in New York, Ben has been stationed in L.A. for most of the summer. The Accountant star seems to be moving on with his newly-single life and even bought a $20.5 million Pacific Palisades bachelor pad on the same day as J. Lo’s birthday.

Jennifer Lopez 'Desperate to Prove Something' to Ben Affleck
Stephane Cardinale – Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images

“He’s back to living his life out of the spotlight and couldn’t be happier that they’re finalizing the formal details of the split so they can both move on,” the source confirms. 

Ben has previously opened up about the difficulties Jennifer’s faced throughout her life, saying the singer “felt emotionally neglected as a child” in the documentary, The Greatest Love Story Never Told, a companion piece to J. Lo’s latest project, This Is Me… A Love Story. “It’s a hard thing to look at somebody whose professional life is wildly successful and on Instagram looks like they’re living the happiest life in the world.”

The Chasing Amy star even compared his estranged wife’s struggles to his own public battle with alcoholism. “The thing you discover, like you do with alcohol, is that there isn’t enough alcohol in all the liquor stores in the world to fill up that thing,” the star said. “In Jennifer’s case, I don’t think there’s enough followers or movies or records or any of that stuff to still that part of you that still feels a longing and pain.

Despite his awareness of Jen’s trauma, the actor ultimately couldn’t be the one to help her heal, the source says. “He tried so hard to make her see that she didn’t need the constant affirmation of the outside world to feel whole and it just didn’t work, she just has this endless need for approval that never seems to get filled no matter how much attention she gets.”

“It was exhausting and every day it becomes clearer that nothing he could have done would have helped her heal,” the insider says. “He doesn’t have any hard feelings towards her, if anything he feels pretty sorry for her.”

Following failed attempts at reconciliation, the couple’s divorce paperwork has been “finalized, but not yet turned in,” multiple sources told Daily Mail in a report on Wednesday, July 31.

“At the end of the day,” our insider tells, “he can’t fix her, that’s an inside job and one she doesn’t seem interested in taking on.”

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