Kate Cassidy opened up about the shock of finding out about boyfriend Liam Payne’s death in her first interview since he passed in October 2024.

“I feel blessed I didn’t find out over social media because I just couldn’t even imagine that,” the social media influencer, 25, told The Sun on Wednesday, February 5. “I was in our home with our dog, scrolling TikTok and one of Liam’s friends called me.”

Kate explained that she struggled to believe the news when she learned that 31-year-old Liam had died after falling off a hotel balcony in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

“That moment, it’s like blank; it’s blacked out in my head,” she continued. “I didn’t believe it at first. I thought it was just a rumor. Or something that somebody made up just to get views.”

However, the model said she knew deep down that something wasn’t right.

“Instantly I just had a bad feeling in my gut. When I officially found the news out to be true, I felt numb. I tried to call him. I called pretty much everybody. I remember pacing around the house,” Kate said, noting that the couple’s dog, Nala, “thought I was trying to play, she kept jumping up at me. I didn’t sleep at all that night.”

Along with the interview being published, Kate shared a message with her fans on social media explaining why she decided to speak out four months after his death.

“The past few months have been truly heartbreaking. I keep hoping I’ll wake up and this was all just a bad dream. Most days I feel numb and broken. The weight of it all feels unbearable,” she wrote on her Instagram Stories. “However, after receiving thousands of messages from Liam’s fans seeking clarity during this devastating time, I wanted to share an insight into the relationship with the love of my life.”

Kate continued, “This is my first ever interview while I navigate the pain of losing Liam, so please bear with me as I share my experience, which I hope will be received with compassion and understanding.”

She concluded, “Thank you so much for your kindness and support. It means more than I can put into words.”

Kate was with Liam in Argentina days before his death, as the couple flew in to see Liam’s friend and former One Direction bandmate Harry Styles perform on October 2, 2024. However, Kate became homesick after several days of traveling and flew back to Miami. Liam checked into the CasaSur Palermo Hotel in Buenos Aires on his own on October 14, 2024.

Two days later, local authorities found Liam dead in the hotel’s courtyard after he fell from the balcony of his room. He sustained “very serious injuries” as a result of his fall and fractured his skull, In Touch confirmed.

Kate explained in her interview that she left Argentina to care for their dog.

“Obviously if I knew, if I could see into the future, I would never have left Argentina,” she said. “I think about Liam every second of every day. It still doesn’t feel fully real for me that he’s not here. I’m trying to be the best I can be, but I feel like my life has changed so much.”

Liam had multiple drugs in his system at the time of his death, including cocaine, benzodiazepine and crack, his autopsy later revealed. He also had traces of “pink cocaine,” a mix of ecstasy, ketamine, caffeine and a psychedelic drug known as 2-CB.

Five people have since been charged in connection to the “Strip That Down” singer’s death, including a Casa Sur Palermo hotel employee, a waiter, the hotel’s manager, a receptionist and Liam’s representative.

Braian Nahuel Paiz, who worked at the hotel restaurant and was accused of supplying cocaine to Liam, denied that he gave the singer drugs or accepted money from him in a November 2024 interview with Telefe Noticias.

“They’re saying that he was not under the influence before getting to [CasaSur] but the reality is that he was already on drugs. In fact, he didn’t eat,” Paiz, 24, said after explaining that they had exchanged contact information earlier in the restaurant to hang out later.

Liam’s friend Rogelio “Roger” Nores, who was the person identified as his “representative,” also denied involvement in the One Direction alum’s death after being charged with negligent homicide.

“I never abandoned Liam,” Nores told the Daily Mail. “I went to his hotel three times that day and left 40 minutes before [his death] happened. There were over 15 people at the hotel lobby chatting and joking with him when I left. I could have never imagined something like this would happen.”