Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Garner may never be the best of friends, but the Alias alum is not impressed by how mean their mutual ex husband Ben Affleck has been towards his most recent ex wife – and she’s demanding he show way more class and kindness, a source exclusively tells In Touch. 

“Jen has a huge amount of sway with Ben these days, so she does feel quite obligated to police his behavior, particularly when it comes to the way he’s been treating J. Lo,” the insider says. “He’s been so impatient with her and actually quite ungrateful, at least in Jen’s view.” 

Ben, 52, recently finalized his divorce from the “Let’s Get Loud” singer, 55, over four months after she first filed in August. The couple, who were married for two years, had a rocky summer in 2024. In Touch was the first to report the couple were on the verge of a split in April, which was followed by months apart from one another and plenty of petty grievances. 

Throughout the arduous process, the two went back and forth arguing about the exact details of their split while still trying to get along as much as necessary to keep their once-blended family as happy as possible.

“They both said they wanted to do it amicably and have even talked a good game about wanting to consciously uncouple, but that plan seems to be out the window because they can’t agree on how to divide things up, which of course is affecting things,” a second source previously told In Touch about the proceedings, which lasted over six months.

Even though their divorce has been finalized, the first source says that Ben still hasn’t let go of how the whole thing went down, and is still annoyed at his ex. While Jennifer Garner “knows Ben is frustrated with how much J. Lo is still trying to micromanage him,” the source argues that “if you look at the situation with a little more distance, she’s actually being very kind.” 

Ben, who shares his three children with Jen Garner, and J. Lo, who shares her twins with ex Marc Anthony, had successfully blended their families while they were together, an arrangement the insider says still holds up as all three reunite occasionally to parent their kids, some of whom go to the same school, at least on one end.

“Jen is very impressed with how devoted to the kids J. Lo still is. She has stuck to her word and continued to be in their lives, even though Ben hasn’t exactly done the same for J. Lo’s twins,” the insider clarifies. “Jen has admonished him for that big time and ordered him to step up his efforts.” 

With Ben running to the comfort of his ex-wife Jen throughout, she’s taking the opportunity to set him straight. “Ben is also pretty rude and grumpy whenever he talks to or sees J. Lo and for Jen that’s just not acceptable. She thinks he needs to grow up and act like an adult and start being a lot nicer to J. Lo.”