Brandi Glanville was contemplating the unimaginable while dealing with a grueling health battle.

As In Touch previously reported, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum, 53, told the Daily Enquirer — a newsletter brought to you by the editors of the National Enquirer — that she privately underwent life-saving surgery on Tuesday, February 3, to remove her breast implants after it was discovered that they were ruptured and leaking, with the silicone clogging her lymph nodes. The condition was so dire, she says, that it was something that could have killed her if she hadn’t discovered it in time.

According to Glanville — who was also dealing with a facial parasite that she contracted while filming The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip in Morocco — the ordeal pushed her to be on the brink.

“I, in my life, had never contemplated not wanting to be here,” she exclusively told the Daily Enquirer, admitting that there were times that she was suicidal. “I know stress can make you sick, but I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t stressed.”

“I just stopped talking to my friends, really,” Glanville continued.

The mom of two — who shares son Mason, 22, and Jake, 18, with ex-husband Eddie Cibrian — thought of her children when she started to spiral into sadness.

“The only reason I live is for my boys and I need to be here for them [so] just the thought of that,” she shared. “That’s why whenever I was having dark thoughts, I was like, ‘I can never put that trauma on my children.’”

Glanville was open about her condition, which she attributes to breast implant illness, even though she wasn’t sure if her sons were aware she had undergone breast augmentation. “We’ve never sat and just talked about it. I’m like, ‘I don’t know if you guys knew,’ and they were like, ‘We knew!’ I’m like, ‘OK!’” she explained. “They were just so happy that I had an answer because they saw me crying every day.”

With Glanville on the mend following her surgery, she can now focus on what’s most important to her: family. And it seems both of her sons are following in their parents’ footsteps — Jake recently started a podcast and is going to acting school, while Mason filmed an upcoming reality show that will air on Netflix featuring “the kids of Calabasas.”

“He’s like, ‘I only shot twice,’” Glanville told the Daily Enquirer. “I’m like, ‘That’ll be in every episode still. You don’t know how this works. They will drag it out. You would still be in each episode.’ He said it was fine, but it was not for him.”

As close as she is to her sons, the Drinking and Tweeting author has also found “the daughter [she] never had” in Mason’s girlfriend. “His girlfriend loves me and I love her,” she added, quipping: “I told her, ‘Just get pregnant!’”

With reporting by Lanae Brody

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